The Cat Levitator

Dude, alright. So I was dressed in snow gear in the mountains with a guy I went to elementary school with. We were selected to participate (a ride along) in a free demonstration of a new SUV on the market. The driver was a rally driver or something, and he was talking to us about the car while drifting backwards on icy roads and around corners. It was incredibly exhilarating and terrifying. He dropped us off and we started playing tag or something in the snow. I accidentally ran through a sewage overflow area and my (once white) snow clothes were now splattered with a neon brown substance. It was utterly disgusting. We kept walking and found two dogs, a larger snow bred dog (like a malamute or something) and a smaller, fluffy white dog. Somehow I knew their owner and we returned the two lost pups.

Then we were shuttled to another location. It wasn’t cold out anymore, in fact, it felt hot like summer. We entered a manor of some sort. This place was huge and looked like a modern version of the Hearst Castle [Waking Reference: I recently re-watched the opening of Citizen Kane recently]. First we visited the outdoor portion and found “The Alligator Pool,” where several “human friendly gators” were supposedly wading. So we said hell and jumped in the murky green water. I definitely saw a breed of gator I’d never seen before. It was much like a gharial, but something about it’s anatomy separated it for sure. Naturally, we made up a new game while in the gator pool. It involved writing on the tall, stone walls that rose up one edge of the pool. We had to graffiti (engraving style, with another rock) up the wall until we hit the top, whoever got to the top without falling back in the water was the winner. Also, naturally, I cheated to get to the top. I was on someone’s shoulders and they boosted me up above the current leader.

Now we went into the manor to the guestroom portion (which was huge, more like a small hotel really) because we wanted to get ready for the movie screening at the theatre. Droves of people were all getting ready in their rooms, prancing through the hallways, girls doing their makeup in the bathrooms and whatnot. Reminds me of Vegas. We finally made our way to the theatre and found our seats in the back. As we were settling in, I noticed a fire escape behind us, and in the shadows I saw a cat: it was Cheez-It! I got up to get him when a huge lion-tiger hybrid loomed out of the shadows behind him. Someone had set free the large cats from the zoo. [Waking Reference: Definitely from Retronaut. Thanks for the cats Brian!] So I quietly got up and tried to make my way out without freaking everyone out.

Upon exiting the theatre, it came to my attention that I really had to take a shit. So I cautiously ventured throughout the upstairs portions for a bathroom. This place was a maze, but I eventually found a “tropical themed” portion of the mansion that was lined with bamboo constructed stalls. There were about 12 or so, and I picked the one in the middle. As I was dropping off the load, I could hear footsteps coming. Under the bottom of the stalls, I could see a girls flats hurriedly shuffling my direction. She couldn’t contain her laughter. Sure enough, a girl I’d met up at the room kicked open the flimsy bamboo door and started popping off paparazzi shots with her polaroid. I just went with it and smiled. I figured it would be less humiliating that way haha.

A lot of more awesome stuff happened after this moment, but I can’t recall it. That was a fun way to wake up.